Mantras for Moments When a ‘Grip’ is Needed
October 15th, 2025
Photo: Libby Zufi
Writer: Chloe Pehote
Editor: Rachel Jubenville
They say the frontal lobe fully develops relatively around a woman’s early to mid twenties; for better and for worse, I admit that I am not quite there yet. That said, over the last year or so, I have become more accustomed to the duality of certain situations; the blessing and curse of experiencing both a logical and emotional reaction to social, professional, and personal stimuli when things turn out less than ideal.
I am in no way claiming to be the patron saint of early adulthood affairs, but I do think this new sense of maturity reflects some of the wisdom I’ve gained over the past three years at a Big Ten school—an environment where hypersocial communities, intense stress and competition, and constant exposure to people through social media and overlapping circles can make it tough to stay composed.
Whether it’s the intense atmosphere or just a sign of early frontal lobe development, I’ve realized that some of the logical ways of thinking I’ve internalized would have been incredibly helpful back when college felt completely unfamiliar. Holding onto these mantras, without ignoring your emotions, is a practical and realistic way to navigate early adulthood.
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As a new season kicks off here at Hopelessly Yellow, I wanted my first article to share a few of my favorite insights—things that have helped me find stability at school and shaped how I relate to the world around me:
Someone else’s success is not indicative of your own failure. Often, we tend to think that others' gain inherently comes at the expense of our own loss. Rather, I have come to learn that It is far better to acknowledge, and even celebrate, the wins of friends, peers, or even total strangers rather than to waste energy beating yourself up for not being at the same level of success or security as someone on a completely different path.
Self-security, closure, and confidence are things you can only give yourself. The harsh truth: sometimes the best move isn’t looking for someone else to fix things, it’s taking a step back and really reflecting. No one can hand you peace or pride, you have to find it on your own. Despite how entertaining it is to beat a horse to death, peace comes the second you stop sending planned drunk texts and invest in a brand new journal.
You’re not inherently a victim of life—unless you convince yourself that you are. No one is coming to save you, just as no one is usually out to harm you. As much as it pains me to say it, college is ironically the most self-centered era of many people’s lives. It is very unlikely that the decisions people make, that sometimes may feel extremely personal, actually are. Aside from distancing yourself from the narrative of other people’s lives and everyday decisions, the key is this: you have to actively choose to live your life for your own success, solidity, and peace of mind. See life as something you create, not something happening to you. Follow the pace, personality, and perspective that truly inspires you, rather than taking the easiest path.
Navigating early adulthood isn’t about having it all figured out, nor is it about mediating every conflict with a perfectly calculated reaction. To expect yourself to be able to explain every situation rationally every time is setting yourself up to fail. I would rather argue that it’s about learning to balance logic and emotion, celebrating your own journey, and taking responsibility for your own growth. These insights aren’t magic solutions, but they’ve helped me find stability, perspective, and a bit of peace in the chaos of college life. At the end of the day, the path you carve for yourself, at your own pace, with your own values, and guided by your own reflections, is what truly matters. Life is not a burden placed on you; it is a reflection of your mindset and growth.
