Finding True Calm Overseas
December 5th, 2025
Photo: Audrey Adorno
Writer: Grace Heller
Editor: Allie Perlman
“¡Chicas tontas !”
Carmen, a widowed grandmother and host of my homestay in Spain, had her hands full, to say the least. She was tasked with taking care of my sister and me for two weeks during a study abroad program. Our “Spanglish” and sorry attempts at communicating with her, although she did not know a lick of English, immediately proved to be difficult and daunting.
Although my sister Tess and I arrived safely in Granada, Spain, after our connecting flight from Madrid, our suitcases did not make it with us—much to our dismay. On top of the language barrier and adjusting to new living conditions in a new country, Tess and I did not have a single belonging to our names except the clothes on our backs.
Carmen, upon hearing of this unfortunate situation, insisted that she take us on a shopping trip within the first hour of knowing us. She gave us her input on which skirt would seem the least American, or which shirts would bring out our green eyes. She graciously purchased the items for us before taking us to her favorite bakery to try its delicious Soplillos de la Alpujarra.
After cooking us one of her favorite meals, “lentejas y huevos,” I asked what she would be doing before our walk at 5 pm. She laughed. “¿No sabes lo que es la siesta?”(You don’t know of siesta?) I paused in confusion. Siesta? She read my confusion, but she was surprised that this was not a universal concept. “Es un tiempo del día cuando solamente descansas.” (It is a time of day when you just rest.) What a simple but logical concept, I thought. In getting tied up in the hustle of meals, work, and activities, a delegated time to just decompress seems just what everyone needs.
Tess and I, when together, have a tendency to joke incessantly and make silly comments (often driving others crazy). Soon enough, Carmen’s welcoming and humorous nature brought this side out of us. She would make hilarious jokes and stick her tongue out at us, since she knew this made us laugh uncontrollably. Carmen often explained that we were too silly for our own good, coining the term “chicas tontas”, or silly girls, because we were never serious.
When my sister became homesick, Carmen explained very simply, “Pero, soy tu madre en España” (But, I am your mom in Spain). She would continuously say how we were her American daughters. When it came time to say goodbye to Carmen at the end of the program, all three of us cried. The bond we established with her in just two weeks was remarkable.
Despite the chaos of our lost suitcases or the difficulty of such a prevalent language barrier, those two weeks with Carmen afforded me valuable lessons and teachings that have stayed with me beyond my time abroad. Her graciousness, humor, and hospitality were unlike anything I could have ever imagined. Moreover, the clear tranquility of her home and Spain itself, as evidenced by the concept of “siesta”, was refreshing. While our cultures are inherently different, our ability to forge such a strong connection with and learn so much from Carmen proved the universality of our ability to connect with others.
Most importantly, my time with Carmen revealed the calm found in fully embracing a foreign country. In forbidding preconceived notions through trying new foods, constructing jumbled Spanish sentences, wearing local brands, and engaging in “siesta,” I learned the value of calm through my time in Spai
