Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

May 7, 2026

Writer:   Nascha Martinez

Editor: Madison Freshour

I am my mother’s daughter.  Same thing with my father, actually.  

Funny how that works! 

In high school, though, I would say my connection was slightly more disaffiliated from my parental figures than tree and apple.  I found myself a fallen leaf in parental connection.  Yes, I am being prodigiously dramatic.  We were never so distant as to be separate plants, but never quite close enough that I could consider myself under the same tree.  In leaving for college, I valiantly stated to my friend, “Yeah, I’ll probably call home once in a while.” Once in a while has proven to be somewhat more frequent (FaceTime is my most-used app; do with that what you will).

Shakespeare and I don’t share many common opinions; still, the value of absence insofar as it affects the nature of love is one perspective cemented in iambic pentameter that does not just read to me as old English, but rather a more modern understanding.

I found in college that I was suddenly immersed in a world entirely different from the one I could have pictured, both spatially and emotionally. As an out-of-state student, separated by a six-hour flight and surrounded by a bitter Michigan winter, I was doing great! Mostly! Sometimes! In truth and with blue pride, I had absolutely no idea what was going on.

I, however, did not find myself adrift but rather anchored by a flowering connection to, you guessed it, my parents. Much of my optimism in novel surroundings came from an endless support system from my roots, so inherent to me that I had long since forgotten to appreciate their existence. 

Calls with Mom became a time to think through decisions with someone whose only interest was the best for me.  Exchanging photos with Dad became a way of seeing home and showing the people who had helped get me here the sunsets we weren’t watching together.  Texting back and forth was not just about practice or groceries, but revolved around sharing memories and telling them stories, not solely so they’d sleep easy knowing I was happy here, but also so I could selfishly infuse them into my daily life.

My parents fled the role of parent and obtained the nature of friend and guardian in the transition to college. I called my Mom once, in the throes of the expected freshman situationship of doom and despair, and found myself in shock at how we could have ever existed at odds.

It was then that I concluded Shakespeare was only half right. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder, but distance can make you appreciate those who support your heart’s function. Absence gives you a shared sense of experience that adds to your relationship in a way that time and the drag of living together do not permit.  

Absence gives the heart fonder for connection. Say thanks to your parents, kids.