Who’s Got My Back
October 29th, 2025
Photo: Lindsey Louwers
Writer: Hailey Brandt
Editor: Zoey Ueland
For me, one of the most overwhelming parts of our social media-obsessed society is birthday posts. Every Instagram story features a throwback photo with some form of confession of love for their friend. To be honest, the number of best friendships overwhelms me. Going to a school as big as Michigan, and being involved in heavily populated organizations like Greek life, I find myself feeling pressured to be “BFFs” with everyone. Although this feeling hasn’t completely disappeared, an impactful lesson from one of my communications classes and a little bit of upperclassman maturity have definitely helped.
This semester, I am taking a class called Social Networks (super interesting, everyone should take it!). One phenomenon we discussed was Dunbar’s number, a concept that states that each individual can only maintain 150 relationships of meaningful contact at a time. This “magic number” of 150 comes from anthropologist Robin Dunbar’s theory that there is a ratio between the size of an individual’s neocortex, the part of the brain responsible for cognition and language, and the size of a cohesive social group (BBC News, 2019). Of the 150 people, there are approximately 50 people that one considers their friend, about 15 people that one classifies as their good friend, making up your “sympathy circle,” and only five people who are in your “support group,” or the people you turn to in times of crisis. Dunbar’s theory explains that the people within each layer of your social circle can migrate in and out, but the idea remains that “new space has to be carved out for new entrants” (BBC News, 2019).
Learning more about how relationships work and being able to quantify a concept that is typically ambiguous was truly intriguing to me. As a curious person who loves to ask “why,” navigating my friendship struggles was frustrating. I couldn’t wrap my head around why others were able to maintain so many seemingly authentic close relationships at once, and why I felt so overwhelmed trying to do the same. Knowing the imperfections and misconceptions of these relationships I see on social media, and removing the pressure of forced closeness, has allowed me to truly cherish my own.
Growing up, I always heard that “college is the best four years of your life.” I have typically associated this phrase with independence, forever friends, and all of the adventures along the way. However, education is often missed from this list. As a self-proclaimed nerd, I love to learn just about anything; I find it especially inspiring when the classroom lessons can be applied to aspects of my personal life. And while early morning lectures and late-night study sessions can sometimes feel like a chore, they’re ultimately worthwhile when those seemingly random lessons reveal their deeper, real-world impact beyond the lecture hall.
