Quitting is Evolving
December 8th, 2025
Photo: Addison Siembieda
Writer: Lily Lev
Editor: Isabelle Evans
I joined my first soccer team at the age of five. My tendency to bolt down the field on a breakaway, outpacing any defenders, prompted my coach to implement the nickname “Lightning.” It grew to define me: Lightning, who loved soccer.
For years, soccer was intertwined with my identity. I grew up traveling to tournaments and racing from high school practice to club practice. It shaped my routines, friendships, and, honestly, how I measured my worth. When I got to college, I joined a club soccer team at the University of Michigan, in hopes of some familiarity with everything else in flux.
The team environment was warm and supportive, and I felt at ease with the continuity of the sport that shaped my childhood. But slowly, I found myself not looking forward to practices in the way I used to. It started becoming a chore rather than an outlet. I was going through the motions, but I didn’t feel that same spark that had initially made me fall in love with soccer.
But I stayed because I equated quitting with failing.
When I finally decided not to rejoin the team for my senior year, I wrestled with the guilt of quitting. Who was I without Lightning? Was I letting my younger self down - the girl who lived for weekend games and team dinners? I spent hours scrolling through old photos of myself in neon yellow cleats and messy pigtails, trying to evoke the joy I felt, as if nostalgia alone could resuscitate a feeling that had slowly faded.
But I’ve realized that quitting doesn’t erase the person it was. It honors the person I’ve become.
I still occasionally miss soccer, craving the adrenaline of a close game or the familial team environment. But giving soccer up has given me time to put my energy into other activities like spending time with friends during our last year in college together, training for a Hyrox competition, and taking more time for myself.
Quitting soccer wasn’t me abandoning who I was. It was giving myself permission to evolve and find new interests. Playing soccer will always be a part of my identity, but it no longer needs to define it. I’ve learned that growing doesn’t always mean holding on. Sometimes, it’s giving myself permission to move on.
With that, Lightning is signing out.
